I’ve not been good about updating our blog, the internet
issues have continued and are the worst in the evening when I would have time
to blog. I promise to go back and do
some updating, but I think it’s most prudent to begin with where we are now and
move forward, and then update retroactively as time allows. It’s all pretty
much documented on Facebook, so I could just go back and copy and paste my
statues. J
Cam is 9 ½ months old now.
He’s crawling (fast!), pulling himself up onto everything and cruising
along furniture. Little Dude can get to where he needs to go, whether we like
it or not. He doesn’t have any interest in attempting to stand or walk and that
I attribute to his practical approach to life.
Cam hasn’t yet shown any interest in doing anything just for the sake of
just doing it. He doesn’t pursue a skill
unless he sees its purpose and that the new skill accomplishes that purpose
more effectively than a skill he already have. The milestones that serve his
purposes have happened early, and those which he doesn’t see the use for have
come along at a slower pace. Take, for
example, sitting. It took Little Dude
MONTHS to sit up on his own. He didn’t see the point in sitting, he didn’t see
anything he could do in a sitting position that he couldn’t do equally well or
better on his tummy, and tummy time had the added bonus of being the position
in which he could work on crawling.
Pulling to stand, however, happened early (by comparison) and
quickly. He went from zero to cruising
over the course of about ten days because THAT served his purpose. He could get
places and grab stuff that way. In terms
of walking and standing, I honestly believe that he is physically stable enough
to begin to stand on his own and can walk with one of us holding his hands, he
has done so quite well on the very few occasions where it has served his
purpose. Byenlarge, however, he has no interest. I will offer my hand to help
him off of the furniture onto which he’s holding to help him walk to his new
destination and he just uses my hand to get down to crawl. It’s quicker, you
see. He doesn’t see the use of walking
when crawling is quicker. He doesn’t
care to focus on skills for the sake of the skills themselves, unless he sees
their usefulness in fulfilling whatever he deems to be his purposes (which
right now involves exploring areas and obtaining objects). Lord, please help this child as he is his
Mama’s boy in this regard. It’s why I
can’t keep my room clean (TO THIS DAY!) or work out regularly for any length of tim. Unless I see the point or
immediate results, I have a hard time staying interested. Sigh…I hope some bits
of tenacity and fastidiousness can creep in from his Daddy to counteract some
of it.
Also, we are in the throes of sleep regression, among other
things. We’ve been dealing with it on and off since probably mid-October, when
Jeff left for Asia and our routine changed.
While Jeff was in Asia, Cam cut his first teeth (I felt those bottom
ones for the first time on Halloween) and just before his return he learned to
pull to standing which launched us into three weeks of compulsive Big Boy
Standies which totally stripped him of his ability to put himself to sleep in
his crib or to get back to sleep after waking up. If he was awake, he wanted to be standing. It
was epic. We got a week or two off after
that, then Thanksgiving hit with the stimulation of family and disruption of routine, then a few nights off, and now for the past three
weeks we’ve not had a night with no wake-ups.
Our trip to Colorado in late December was ridiculous in terms of sleep,
he had to sleep right next to me every night and nurse every few hours to get
back to sleep. The Pack N Play they borrowed for us to use pretty much gathered
dust.
Now that we’ve gotten home, he has progressed to not needing
to always nurse to sleep, but needing to
be rocked. He goes about half the night
in his crib, then refuses to sleep there again and keeps ending up with us.
He’s gone from needing to nurse to get back to sleep when he stirs in our bed
to just needing to snuggle up to one or the other of us, which is precious. I had tears last night, realizing that. A small part of that was knowing that it’s a
teensy step toward weaning, the lost dependence on nursing for comfort in that
regard, but mostly I was so proud of him for moving himself along at his own
pace (it’s nothing I trained out of him, certainly, he did it on his own) and felt grateful at the outward show
of how just being near to Jeff and me is soothing for him. Removing the biological needs of sucking and
eating, which nursing serves in addition to comfort, and only being left with the need for comforting presence…it
makes me feel loved. It also makes
snuggles with Daddy fit the bill as well, which is nice for both Jeff AND me. The other
night, he scooted away from me and crammed himself up against Daddy in his
sleep. It was ADORABLE.
I have
to admit, though, this is a draining season.
This is NOT my favorite phase of Cameron’s life so far, I’m getting worn
down by the combination of things going on right now. I almost hate to write about it because it
sounds like whining and “Poor, pitiful me” as my mother calls it, but I want to be honest so
that I don’t forget one day what it was REALLY like. It is important to note, however, that we’re
not the only ones suffering mightily at the hands of sleep regression. A quick Google search for “sleep regression” will
yield myriad blog entries by exhausted parents verbally banging their heads
against walls across the country and even the world. One will discover with a little reading that
nine month sleep regression is notoriously the worst and is its own special
brand of torture because of the active days which accompany it. We’re trying to be patient and just focus on
meeting his needs until he gets through whatever is going on, but it’s dragging
on for what feels like FOREVER and it’s taking its toll, particularly on
me. He is so busy and active during the day
that I’m even LESS able to get done what I need to do (let alone WANT, maybe
10% of that happens). He’s also become more opinionated and isn’t as content to
be put places such as his exersaucer or high chair which would contain him
enough for me to get things done. I can
count on even LESS than I could before. At night, what he wants keeps changing
and so every time we think we have a system figured out that might allow us
(especially me) to get more sleep, he changes on us. Last night was an example of that. I thought I knew for sure that when he woke,
if I went in and nursed him to sleep and then brought him into bed with us, I
could avoid the two-hours of wakefulness and maybe get both of us back to sleep
within 30 minutes-an hour. Not so much, he kept waking up on the way into our
room and then not wanting to lie still.
When I FINALLY got him back to sleep, he was awake again two hours later
and this time, he saw Daddy lying there and crawled over me to get to him for
play time. He wouldn’t settle down in
our bed or in the chair with me, so I had to put him in his crib and wait for
him to get good and upset so he forgot about playing and THEN attempt to get
him back to sleep again. I’m managing
to piece together sleep that is sufficient to keep me going, but having NOTHING
I can count on and constantly be doing guesswork 24 hours a day really is
wearing me down. I think this must be
what it’s like to be a defensive coordinator on a football team. You develop
plays and build your defense around what you think will happen and have a menu
to pull from, you study game film and learn your opponent, but the reality is
that you never REALLY know what to expect and just have to hope you’ve picked
the right play to head off the opponent.
I know
God has my back, though. I know He’s getting ready to come through for us in
this as well as in other areas of our life where we are enduring what feels
like an interminable and exhausting wait, we just need to be patient and God is
providing that patience for us. When
sleep regression ends, as I understand it, it often happens just as suddenly as
it starts. All of a sudden, they’re just fine again one night. I’m trying to
remember that as I get frustrated at the absence of signs of progress. I also
am trying to remember that God will provide for us as much as we need to get
through this. The scripture I’m praying
for Cameron at the moment is Isaiah 41:10 “So, do not fear for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I
will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right
hand.” (excuse me if that’s not
punctuated properly, I typed it out from memory). I’ve whispered it over and
over to him as I’ve rocked him, committed it to memory so I can whisper it as
he gets frustrated throughout the day. I
pray that he can relax with his new learning and rest, confident that he will
be strengthened in mind and body as he grows into his new skills. And also,
that I can sleep. And Daddy can sleep. And we all can sleep…
Here are some links to other parents’ thoughts on sleep
regression:
(NOTE: At press time, the day after his ten month birthday, we had our first night IN WEEKS in which Cameron slept through the night. 9-6:45. This may be a fluke, or it may be the beginning of the end of sleep regression. Stay tuned)
